Table of Contents Show
- What is Bad Parenting?
- Signs of Bad Parenting
- Effects of Bad Parenting on Children
Being a parent, one always wishes to have the best parenting style where the children and the parents both are living happily.
Living happily does not necessarily mean that they should be smiling all the times, it means that they should have a bond of communication and understanding. This will help them lead a consistent happy life.
Many parents like to walk the footsteps of their parents and follow their style when they should not be doing that. We live in a different world from the one they lived in.
Hence, the parents of today should have updated parenting styles and upbringing skills as well as attitudes.
The social environment has evolved which is why the parents of today should have their own parenting style rather than following their parents’.
What is Bad Parenting?
Bad parenting takes place where there is a series of prolonged actions that are considered ‘bad’, and are damaging to your child’s physical and mental health.
Many of the times these actions are not intentional, but they do leave a negative impact on your child which he takes ahead in his life. And this is what makes you a bad parent.
Most parents of today are not aware of the consequences of bad parenting and there are some who might have an idea but are careless enough to do something about it.
We all are well-aware of the fact that our lives are very busy. However, that does not mean that we should neglect our responsibility as a parent.
Children need attention, care, love, and nurturing. You should have the enthusiasm of learning and taking advice if something comes up that you do not understand.
When you do not realise and observe the signs of poor parenting, you and your child might need a psychologist in the future.
Signs of Bad Parenting
1. No Discipline/ Over Discipline
Disciplining your child is good but anything that is overdone is harmful. Some people tend to discipline their children excessively, which is a sign of bad parenting.
If you are physically abusing your child in order to discipline him, you are at wrong. Abusing your child is not part of parenting skills and definitely not the solution to anything. Instead, it only lowers the self-esteem of the child and he feels unloved.
Child abuse is a crime on its own. Nowadays, children are smart enough to call the national child abuse hotline and complain about their parents.
On the other hand, there are parents who do not discipline their kid at all. These parents are scared of their child and think that this way is better off and makes them befriend their child.
As a good parent, it is your responsibility to discipline your child. He should be taught how to control his behaviour and what actions suit certain circumstances and what actions do not.
Do not be afraid of conflicts and arguments, they happen in every relationship and they prove to be good most of the times.
If some parent has told you to be afraid of your kid, that is some bad parenting advice.
There have to be some boundaries set that your child should not cross. And he should be communicated that these are his limits which he should be careful of.
If you want your child to become a good and responsible adult in the future, you have to discipline him in a balanced manner. That is what good parenting is.
2. Lacking Affection
Again, something that is overdone is harmful but that does not at all mean that it should not be done at all.
Some bad parenting habits include lack of love and affection the parents have for their child. They tend to keep it inside them and do not show it through their actions. They believe that this means to pamper the child which will eventually spoil him.
But on the other hand, they are willingly discipling them and being strict about the behaviour and actions of the child.
If you want to do it right, you will have to love and show affection to your child. You need to discipline him too, both work side by side.
If you do not show love to your child, he will turn to doing the stupidest things in order to get your attention. This will not make him a better person but ruin his personality.
3. Shaming your Child in Front of Others
If you are a parent and you scold and shame your child in front of others, you are doing wrong and this will very adversely impact your child.
Do not be the bad parents who let their children down in front of others.
Children who get shamed by their parents have no confidence. They grow up introverts with a very low self-esteem.
There are parents who discuss their children and their doings with other people in front of them. This just embarrasses the children because their wrongdoings are being told which is shameful for everyone.
Embarrassing your child in front of others will not make him correct his mistakes, instead, he will behave badly with you as you are the one who disrespected him.
Respecting your child is also your responsibility after which he will learn to respect you and others around him.
4. Comparison of your Child with Another
Comparing your child with another child is something all parents do. It does not make it right even if everybody is doing it.
Every child is different and unique and we should be able to admire that. If you can not stop comparing your child to another, at least do not do it verbally and do not become aggressive.
This is also a kind of mental illness when you think and also make your child think that he is in competition with other children.
Your intentions might be to motivate your child, but the opposite happens. When your child feels he is competition with everybody, he will just get demotivated and give up.
Appreciation is the key, even if your child does a little good thing, you should appreciate and applaud him. This will motivate him to do better and make you a better parent.
Do not be one of those parents who do not see any good in their children but always speak good about others’ children.
5. Over Pampering
There are some parents who really go out of the way and do things for their children which they should not be doing.
Pampering your child does not make you a perfect parent. Instead, you are inferring in your child’s life and he is developing bad habits.
Pampering is a thing that is loved by everyone, but too much pampering adversely effects the children.
Children should be taught things and they should be able to do those things themselves. As a parent, you should not be afraid that your child will get mad or get upset from you.
They should be left on their own sometimes too because you are not going to be there with them throughout their lives.
Eventually, they will be blaming you for their failure as they did not know what hard work or putting effort really means. You were there for them, doing everything for them but this is life and life gives you challenges to face.
The failure of your child means that you opted for a terrible parenting style.
Overprotective parents try hard to be a part of their kid’s life and think that this will make them become best friends with their kid.
In order to build a healthy relationship with your child, do not become an overprotective parent. Give them space.
Generally, a mother who is a house wife and does not go out to work interferes in the child’s life a lot because she has the time.
6. Not Making Enough Time
Many people argue that they work tirelessly for hours so that their family lives comfortably and they are able to meet all the expenses.
However, they do not realise that this all tends to happen at the expense of spending time with family.
Your children need your time and attention the most. They crave that their parents spend time with them so they can just speak to each other for a while.
Children are very talkative and they need someone who listens to them and responses to them while acknowledging the fact that children should be loved and heard.
When they are not heard, they show negative behavior.
If you do not give time to your child and you have not been able to build a connection with him, this is a major sign of bad parenting. This has an impact on your child’s behavior as well.
Effects of Bad Parenting on Children
1. Children Suffer from Psychological Disorders
Many Child Development Organisations have carried out research which concluded that children who had faced physical as well as verbal abuse suffer from psychological disorders.
Bad parenting affects children in many ways. When you are not there for your child physically as well as emotionally, your child is prone to become depressed.
When in depression, the child will not be responsive to you, he will have behavioural issues, and eventually grow up to be a depressed person whose mental health is not at all good.
This type of child will have no goals in life, he will have no interest in achieving things, and will not lead a happy life.
2. Poor Performance
When you will not spend time with your child, you obviously will not know what he is doing in school and if he needs help with anything. Neglecting a child leaves him with a scar which destroys his personality.
When nobody talks to a child at home, how is he suppose to make friends at school? These type of children have social anxiety and they avoid talking to people and making friends at school.
Moreover, these children are no good in academics too because there is no one at home who would appreciate them if they do well.
Similarly, when they perform poorly, no one is there to highlight the mistake and make them improve it because that sure would take up a lot of time and the parents of today do not have that.
3. Lack of Social Adjustment
Children who go through physical abuse and violence, they suffer their whole life. Even in school, they would get afraid of the teachers and not be comfortable around them.
Their past or present might be haunting them which is why social adjustment would be a problem for them.
Children who have strict parents tend to turn out as liars, their parents are controlling which is why they need to lie in order to get some space from them. This situation makes them disliked by their peers because of bad influence.
4. Developmental Problems
When children are overlooked by their parents, they do not grow properly. Childhood is a beautiful phase of everyone’s life but when you are not paid attention, it means nothing to you.
Children who are victims of bad parenting grow slower than others. They build a personality which is different and broken. Their mental development is also slow and they show signs of malnutrition.
Children do not receive proper food with nutrition, they are just fed. This effects their physical as well as mental health and they remain behind from their peers.
5. Behavioural and Emotional Issues
Children who grow up in an environment where there is strictness, criticism, yelling, hitting, violent behavior, and so on; they grow up being a person with behavioural and emotional issues.
These type of children are aggressive, rude, and cranky. The young child grows up learning that all humans are like this and he should also be like this so that he is accepted in the society.
These children fail to build good and consistent relationships with others and have a hard time trusting people.
There will be a lack of empathy in these children and it would take a long time for someone to change these traits in a person.
6. Drug Addiction
Usually when the parents do not know what is happening in the lives of their children, the children also grow up not caring.
Neglecting your child may result in him spending more and more time outside with friends and other same age group children.
When your teenager spends most of the time outside, he will come to know of things like drugs and alcohol. They may come under the pressure of peers and start consuming them which eventually makes them addicted.
Being addicted from a young age destroys them and their lives. It will be hard for them to leave these things at a time, even if they really want to. They will end up facing the withdrawal effects.
Our busy lives are the main culprit of bad parenting. No matter what, one should make time for children and family. Being neglected is the worst feeling which leads to a lot of problems that we have discussed above.
As a new parent, you should learn things and be able to take help from forums on social media. People all over the world gather on these forums and help each other out in order to resolve the issue of bad parenting.
The effects of bad parenting are really traumatising for children and they end up shaping a very bad personality.
They should be taught that a human being is a beautiful creation who should love, respect, and be helpful towards others.